Frozen In Time
by PerfectMisfit
Summary: She still waits for him to return--maybe the image of his dead body is just a part of her imagination. But he's never coming home.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did, I could buy all the Cadbury bars in the world...*drools*...**

**Spoilers: None. Well, none that I'm aware of, but if there are any, then tell me.**

**Word count: I have no idea (:. Thousand two-hundred something...  
**

Unohana Retsu was a sensible woman--she knew better than to get involved with her patients. It would obviously lead to heartbreak. But yet, she somehow lost her heart to a certain white-haired, ever-smiling captain. She wasn't sure how it happened either, it wasn't like she woke up one fine day and declared that she loved him. No, it was a slow, slow process. She didn't fall for him the first time she saw him. She felt pity mixed with admiration and was mesmerised by how a man as ill as Ukitake Jyuushirou could be so optimistic.

She began to grow used to him stopping by at the Fourth Division frequently. Over the years her relationship with him changed drastically. It went from them being two captains who acted professionally with each other to friendship and a mutual understanding of each other. And soon, friendship became love and Unohana Retsu never regretted losing her heart to him. She treasured every moment she could spend with him. Because time was the most precious thing the two of them had.

She remembered how much he liked the rain. It surprised her as well--she pictured him to be more of a lover of sunshine and grassy green fields. She frowned as she saw him stare out of the window in his room. He was supposed to be sleeping. She walked up to him and asked him if anything was wrong.

_"I like the rain, Unohana-san." He replied, his voice barely above a whisper.  
_

She never understood why. He claimed it was gentle and fragile, passionate and expressive at the same time. The rain made him feel a variety of emotions. It gave him hope and made him feel melancholic at the same time. Unohana pursed her lips lightly and commented about that not making sense.

_"Does everything have to make sense, Unohana-san?"_

_"No, I suppose not." She chuckled. "You may call me Retsu. I do refer to you by your first name, don't I?"_

_"Very well, Retsu it is."_

Perhaps she had been stupid to get involved with him romantically. He was a dying man. They wouldn't have much time together. But with what little time they did have, they created memories Unohana was sure she would cherish. Ukitake Jyuushioru wasn't her first lover, but he was the one who she was sure she would marry, she would start a family with, she would die with...she was just like every other woman with hopes and dreams of a family, a husband and a married life. She knew Ukitake didn't have much time left to live and despite knowing that little fact, she let herself fall for him.

She recalled how he said lillies suited her. Until she met him, she had never bothered much with going out or trying to make herself look better--she couldn't even recall people complimenting her looks. She had always deemed herself fairly ordinary, until she started loving Ukitake. They couldn't do most things ordinary couples did--granted, they weren't an ordinary couple--they never had romantic dances in the rain or had candlelit dinners in restaurants. But every little thing they did for each other meant the world to her.

Their first date had been a trip to the forest where they sat at the banks of a pond and talked for hours. Ukitake had even plucked a few lillies for her and gently fastened them to her braid. She had discovered so much about him then--how he had been sick since he was seven, how he had grown up in Northern Rukongai along with four brothers and two sisters, how often he fought with them and how he grew up as the middle child, how his family coped after his father's untimely demise when he was fifteen. He told her about how he became a captain and what kind of trouble he and Kyouraku had gotten themselves into before they became part of the Gotei 13.

She told him about how she came from a middle-class family in central Rukongai, about how she lived with her elder sister and younger brother, about how her father deserted them when she was around three or so, about how she took care of her brother when her mother was sick or busy. She told him about how she started out as a fifth seat and worked her way up to captain and how she was often mocked or ridiculed by the eleventh.

_"Has anyone ever told you how much lillies suit you?" He smiled gently._

_"No...not really..."_

He loved it when she would leave her hair open. It suited her more than when she kept it braided. In the rare moments that she would leave her hair loose, he would stroke it, his fingers gentle yet teasing.

_"I love you."_

He was a good man--friendly, kind, cheerful and always ready to help. There weren't any bad rumours about him and although he regretted never being able to help his squad and be there for them as much as he should, his squad didn't hate him. They admired him, they looked up to him. Did such a man deserve to die? No...of course not...

Over time Ukitake's health grew worse. The number of dates they could go on decreased and Ukitake would turn up more often at the Fourth Squad for treatment. The smile that she had loved so much had become weary and forced. The lips that kissed her softly every night were dry and cracked. His skin barely contrasted with his hair or the starched hospital sheets. His coffee-brown eyes--rimmed with dark circles--rarely, if ever, flickered open. Whenever she could, she would sit by his side, waiting for his eyes to open, for him to reassure her.

But his eyes never opened, his hands never caressed the side of her face and his lips never curved into a soothing smile. She watched in worry as the gentle rise and fall of his chest became slower and less visible and as hacked coughs escaped his chapped lips. She supported his head and carefully helped him drink water and sit up in bed. She felt tears gather in her eyes and brushed them away hastily. She couldn't break. Not now.

"You're going to be alright. Just fine...just fine..." she promised him a lie, something that was beyond her reach. She promised him something that she couldn't keep.

And soon, Ukitake Jyuushirou breathed his last.

She still waited for him, unable to accept his demise. Maybe the image of his dead body was a figment of her imagination. Maybe the funeral was just a dream, a fantasy, a lie...maybe she was living in a delusion. He would still turn up at the Fourth Squad, looking pale and drawn but wearing his usual smile. He would still kiss her passionately before they slept...

_She still waits for him to come home. _

_But he's never going to return._

_-_x-x-x_-_

**And this is where I appear and the story ends. Well, whaddaya think? **

**Reviews and concrit are welcome (:. I meant to make this a happy little one-shot, but ahh...I'm in a bad mood. Sorry about the OOC--I tried to keep them as in character as possible...but obviously, it didn't work...never mind, review please? It would really make my day =). So, yeah...that little button down there is calling...click it... **_  
_


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